Betrayal never knocked on my door like it did today. Actually, it crept inside; silently. But, something gave it away: a glance in the right direction. Amusement is what I saw plastered across the face of whom I thought my only best friend. As soon as my slow-at-registering-being-betrayed brain registered what happened, it was too late. He quickly removed any hint visible across his potato-shaped faced — don't know how else to describe his face.

I thought it a completely no-biggie; it was normal for people to snicker at me. And, I guess I had been anticipating this moment. But, it never involved this friend.

Did he thought my nose was funny, too? Or was he just genuinely being an ass like the rest?

I have reason to believe it was the latter.

I tell myself that I think too much. And then I end up telling myself that I'm alive because of thinking too much. Weird, but true.

So, why did I begin writing this? I guess I just needed to creatively let it all out.

Here's the storm raging inside my head:


1. No one is truly going to accept me as I am.

2. The one's who refrain from commenting don't usually comment on out-of-place things.

3. You can never trust anyone.

4. Never be truly at ease with any one.

5. For there to be a truly crushing betrayal, there first has to be amazing trust.

6. People are all the same.

7. People are all the same.

8. ...

9. You're in grave danger if you can't blend in.

10. People suck. 

11. Deep down inside, they're all the same. No matter what.

12. Some of us just aren't meant to have normal lives. 

13. Should I eat yet another burger? 

14. I should probably sleep it off. I know! I'll read before I sleep. 

15. End of storm


Phrases like one-man army and every man for himself have never been any clearer. I guess I'm not much of an army; I feel much comfortable in slithering into the hole that I've dug to protect myself from the outside world. And as far as the second one is concerned, I was always a loner.

What bugs me the most is that I didn't really see it coming. And when it went all bam in my face, well, it hurt.

I should write a book on facing exceptional assholes on a daily basis; I'd make a fortune out of it.

Maybe, a stay-away-from-me sign dangling around my neck ought to achieve everything I dream of. Wait, I already do have one. So what if it's not rectangular cardboard with a thread pierced through? I am a natural people-repellent. Some just don't go away. They're like bad memories; refusing constantly to ebb away.

Just like how today will be a never-dying memory. Technically, yesterday.

It all comes down to moving on, not being an ass back, and — as I say — walking around the flames and not getting burned. It comes down to how much you made yourself happy, even with a whole fleet of jerks wanting to make you feel otherwise. It can be depressing sometimes, but you get over it.

Like I know I will.

I'll always have this nagging voice in my head that keeps me afloat. The dark water below is too dangerous and it knows, so it'll never let me drown. There are horrible creatures lurking beneath. And if I put two and two together, I get to see some of those creatures all to frequently. I "socialize" with them.

What a joke... 

If I've come this far, regardless of the intensity of, like, everything; I think I have a chance of making it even further. This isn't living, though. I don't know if I even will be able to recognize myself at the finish line.

I can so far, and that should be fuel enough to proceed.

The only funny thing about all this is that I haven't written a poem on it.

Let's get started, shall we?