I have new demons to face.

I am encompassed by overwhelming anxiety once my mind successfully determines the gravity of a dire situation. At first, I am angry with myself, then, I let that anger out by either self-talk or by engaging in an activity. It doesn't take much time to put out the fire, and soon enough, I am no longer burning with the flames that represent my anger.

I may have said my piece in PIS (Pakistan and Islamic Studies), which has turned my nemesis—muscular and intimidating Ali—and even the others into admirers. Friends, if not admirers. And, no. Ali is now just another acquaintance who'll be doing me a tremendous favor by not laughing at me or criticizing me. But, there are other problems to solve.

Our VLM (Visionary Leadership and Motivation) instructor is so very pretentious. Okay, maybe not that. But he most certainly appears as trying so hard to be someone he's not at times. If only he could stop trying to mimic the American accent, I'd actually like him. The purpose of his course is basically career-counseling. Also, motivation. But in our first go, we didn't even see a ghost of motivation. The stylistic way of his delineating the horrible ramifications of obtaining a GPA less than 3.5 and that of exceeding the absence limit was very motivational. I can't seem to shake off his influential babble! I'm stuck. He is a hypnotist; and I've become his victim. He uses scare-tactics instead of motivational dialogue.

He almost had me convinced to drop-out! Just in a single lecture.

I can't believe him. I can't believe myself!

I now am in everyone's scrutiny. I'll be expected to be "friendly" as per my piece. Which I don't think I can pull off. But I also think that I can. All I need is the environment with which I can thrive. And the environment starts as soon as I enter campus. They'll also expect from me better grades. I want better grades.

The studies are demanding, too.

I don't know what will happen. But I'm going to try. Hard.

These four years will either make me or break me. I'll decide what they do.