Once I had seen how lengthy the assignment was, a horrible realization struck me.

I can't do it. 

Some of the ten questions I have to write programs about seem easy, but once I'll start writing, I'll find out that they're not. I have been reminded again of how much control a single choice can have over our lives.

I still won't admit that I've not chosen the best for myself.

When it became evident that I couldn't get into any med-school, came the time for a decision. I had chosen law school and the bachelor's program of psychology at first. But my parents didn't let my choices see the light of day. There was unanimous agreement when a degree in business studies was discussed. But soon, I jumped ship from that to Computer Science.

And now, I am stuck.

When I began small-talk with my dad, and eventually got to the point, he didn't let me say anymore. Meaning, I can't escape. I have to complete my time of four years of CS Engineering, no matter what uncomfortable experiences I have to go through.

Some of my classmates think that I'm one of the geniuses there at campus. If only I could tell them they're wrong. If only they could realize it. Then, I wouldn't have to be a different version of myself in front of them. Since the start of the semester, I've been trying to get the teachers' attention, to get popular; become the star student of the whole university. I don't know why. I do admit that I was a show-off before my campus life. But I abandoned that part of my personality. Why has it come back again?

I thought I knew what I was signing up for. But I was wrong.

From achieving a medal along with the degree, my MO has moved to just passing with a good GPA, unscathed. This, in four year's time and not more.

The cause of this disillusionment might be my focus. C# isn't that difficult. I just am not trying as much as the best in my class. I do love programming. Web-development, even more. But it's human nature to want more without doing more.

Now that I've typed all of my frustration away, I don't feel embarrassed at all about transforming my MO into something else. Another attribute of the human nature: we always justify our actions, good or bad.

My mind is in a fragile state; every decision I make changes within seconds. This is going to influence everything that I do. I am worried.

If only I had chosen the degree program that I wanted. What's so big about programming anyway? You can easily learn to code online. Why the hell pay a fortune for it? I didn't know this before.

Of all the roads I could've taken, I took the one that was my never part of my plan.

Of all the roads...